Cleanse is over, thank god. Pretty much a bust. I’m just not a cleanser. Life without real food was a very dark time. Probably my darkest time ever. Coffee-less-ness didn’t help either. All I wanted to do was  lie in bed and listen to Elliot Smith. Or eat something that had nothing to do with mung beans. First day off the cleanse, the sun came out, my legs started working again, I felt full of joy, the world was a good place once more. I stopped thinking murderous thoughts about people in cafes doing things like eating. Stopped wanting to crawl under the porch like a dying cat. I literally felt like my eyeballs could not focus properly whilst cleansing. No spare calories left for eyeballs to do things like seeing, nope. Day after cleanse: Sight. Picking up things. Running. EATING. Carbohydrates. Energy! What magic!

I have to say, I did learn one useful lesson on le cleanse: food will still be there. If you don’t follow the delicious buttery scent and walk across the street into that heavenly smelling bakery and devour a chocolate croissant RIGHT THIS INSTANT, the world will not end, and there will (most likely, you never know) be more chocolate croissants to be had. Maybe tomorrow, when you didn’t already start the day off with toaster waffles. Self-control, I think they call this.

But sometimes, it is so good to give in, to have zero will power and go ahead and get a scone caked in sugar with your coffee. To have grilled cheese sandwiches. To eat what you want.

For example: eat a ton of sushi (and two bowls of miso soup and three gallons of tea) for lunch.

Or find a good friend, grab a baguette and a half pound of prosciutto and combine all the lingering picked things and little cheese bits from your two fridges, add red wine, and devour as you plot your lives.

Or perch on the curb at the farmers market and eat a gigantic slice of just-wood-fired pizza (veggie pizza though, not the one loaded with delicious Italian meats…hello healthy eater over here.)